Many leaders do not know how active listening works

Although most people think they are active listeners, in practice it often turns out differently. And we would even venture to say that listening is one of the least developed traits among many leaders. As a leader, how do you make a difference in this?

Low employee engagement is often related to leaders’ inability to meet the needs of others. And an organization’s ability to successfully navigate today’s complexity is related to the level of curiosity of their leaders. Aspects that all have to do with listening.

As organizations continue to discover how best to respond to the rapidly changing environment, we also see how important it is for leaders to be empathetic, service-oriented and vulnerable. As well as traits that support us to really listen.

What causes such poor active listening?

We think it has to do with it because of the way we talk about listening and, in particular, “active listening.

The term “active listening” was coined by Carl Rogers, a therapist who also worked with organizations. He used the adjective “active” alongside creative, sensitive, accurate, empathetic and open-minded to describe a form of listening in which the listener fully understands and appreciates the speaker’s emotions. At the same time, the listener is able to set aside own perspective and is open and transparent about own thoughts and feelings. Moreover, the listener accepts the speaker as they are and can enter the other person’s world “unbiased.

Active listening is complex. However, Rogers’ meaning of it – and the complexity of active listening – is lost in subsequent statements of what it means to listen actively.

The complexity of active listening

If we search the term “active listening” on Google, many definitions we come across are transactional in nature because they are simplified from Rogers’ original.

An example:

“… active listening, above all, is not complex.
Listeners need only repeat in their own impression and language of the other’s verbal and nonverbal communication…”

To simplify listening in this way is to practice being silent, repeating back to the speaker what was said, nodding, leaning forward and so on.

However, this behavior of the listener puts the focus on the listener himself (being able to give good feedback of what was said) and suppresses an essential component of active listening; being curious. Being curious about what is not being said.

What is not said

The power of “active listening” is that we listen to what the other person is NOT saying. In doing so, we create awareness, learning and growth! And most importantly, we see the speaker regain autonomy. Let autonomy – along with competence and the need for social contact – be one of the three primary needs of an employee in an organization.

Autonomous:an independent individual who feels the need to make their own choices within the framework of an organization. This builds ownership and thus commitment to the organization.

What gets in the way of that active listening?

There are many aspects that get in the way of active listening. Lack of time, a belief that we are responsible for finding solutions to others’ problems, a belief that our job is to give advice. In short, we get in the way of ourselves! Our own opinions, ideas, prejudices, background, tendencies and impulses, they all get in the way.

We are unlikely to become a good listener just by looking at the tips and techniques contemporary proponents of active listening recommend. Staying silent, nodding, leaning forward, summarizing what you’ve heard; probably none of these behaviors by themselves lead to increased empathy.

If you want to become a better listener as a leader, self-awareness is essential. To what extent do you understand your ever-present inner voices? The voices that tell you that you already know what the other person is trying to say. Or the impatient voices. And what about all the biases you bring to a conversation before the conversation has even begun. They all play a role in how successful you can be as a leader.

Approach as a way of BEING

By approaching listening as “a way of being,” leaders can allow their employees to bring out the best in themselves.

We often see this reflected in:

• An improved sense of general well-being
• Creativity and innovation
• Self-awareness
• Clear communication
• Job satisfaction
• Involvement

And ultimately, a leader’s listening ability will positively affect team performance.

Continuous learning and reflection

The world is becoming increasingly complex and change is accelerating. More than ever, it is important that we learn to be truly active listeners as Rogers intended. To be an “active listener” is to be both self-aware and purposeful. That journey toward greater self-awareness and clear purpose requires more than learning new skills. It requires an ongoing commitment to learning and self-reflection; learning about ourselves and the impact we have on ourselves and others. This is an ongoing process, not a short burst of learning during a webinar or workshop.

Active listening is an important part of the leadership and coaching course Co-Creation. In it, in addition to the core coaching competencies of the International Coaching Federation, you will learn to develop yourself as a leader, coach and human being. Interested, please feel free to contact us. The coffee is ready