What is coaching? 9 mythbusters surrounding coaching

What is coaching? The demand for coaching is increasing and so is the supply of coaches. At the same time, we find that there are still many unknowns or inaccuracies about what coaching actually is and does. To support you in ‘seeing the forest for the trees’, in this article we will discuss 9 statements or ‘mythbusters’ around coaching. Are they true, are they false and where is the nuance.

Mythbuster #1 Coaching is not therapy

WHERE

Are there many similarities between coaching and therapy? Yes indeed! Both involve a form of counseling. However, the approach is different. As a professional coach (or if you are looking for a coach or therapist) it is important to (re)understand the difference between the two forms of guidance.

What are the main differences?

• Therapy (including psychology and psychiatry) is about analyzing, uncovering and recovering. Coaching is about exploration, discovery and development.
• Therapy is focused on working with (and healing) the past and present. Coaching is developmental and future-oriented
• In (transformational) coaching the cooperation is equal there is a partnership. In therapy, the therapist is the content expert. Coaches are not medical or healthcare professionals. Coaching supports in clarifying goals, identifying obstacles and opportunities, and making concrete steps. Coaches focus on achieving a goal. The process between a coach and coachee focuses on awareness, action and results.

What is coaching and what is therapy? In a nutshell (somewhat black and white), the main difference is in the approach of the coach. A coach sees his coachee as whole, complete and endowed with his own resourcefulness. A therapist generally has the line of approach that there is something wrong with the client, a trauma has taken place and this needs to be healed, resolved from the therapist’s expertise.

Mythbuster #2 Coaching is giving advice

NOT TRUE

When people think of coaching, many people think of advice. Someone giving you tips and tricks on how to tackle something. However, there is a difference between advising and coaching.

Coaching is about supporting your coachee or employee to figure out what is best for themselves and is based on what the coachee WANTS to do and not what you think they MUST do. It is about asking versus telling. Listening. Asking questions. Challenging. Acknowledging. Giving people time to process their own thoughts and come to their own conclusions and decisions.

That’s the theory. Easier said than done? Sure! It is one of the most difficult behaviors we find among participants in our programs to unlearn. However; awareness and practice makes perfect!

Notice that you get into a counselor/expert/answer/solve/fix mode? Chances are you are advising and NOT coaching.

Mytbuster #3 Coaching requires a problem

NOT TRUE

Does coaching require a problem? Absolutely not!

In coaching language, we prefer to talk about an “issue” that you want coaching on. That may be a problem, however, we do not approach it as such. This leads to more exploration of the topic. In multiple areas, insights into the coachee’s behavior may emerge. And best of all, a new perspective emerges on the basis of awareness. On this basis, the coachee approaches and experiences his “problem” differently. Suddenly the problems are no longer there and become points of development.

This is exactly what coaching is about; development!

This also means that if you are successful in something, you can deepen, broaden, expand, develop and so on. In short, if you are good at something and you want to make yourself even more effective, coaching is a wonderful accompaniment for this.

However, pitfalls that we often see repeated by novice or less practiced coaches:

• Naming the coachee’s own topic as a “problem”. “What problem do you want to discuss?” or “What is your problem?” By doing so, they unconsciously give the coachee’s topic the connotation of a problem. There is thus a good chance that your coachee will get into a fixed mindset instead of creating room for growth.

• Being insufficiently aware of their own bias for wanting to solve something. Instead of zooming in on the specific problem or challenge coachees are facing, it actually requires zooming out.

Change your approach from “I need to help my coachee (or employee) solve this problem” to “How can I support this person’s progress?”

Coaching is forward-looking and is about growth, achievement and success experiences. This does not require problems.

Mythbuster #4 The coach THE expert

NOT TRUE/DEPENDS

Do you know a coach? Chances are the answer is “Yes. And even more likely that most of those examples involve a mentor coach or advisor. At least someone who is an expert on the content. However, this is something OTHER than transformational coaching.

What is the difference?

In transformational coaching, the coachee is the expert in his own life. As coaches, we are an equal partner who supports the coachee to achieve his goals.

The principles here are:

• A coachee is naturally creative, resourceful and complete
• The coachee sets the goal
• The coach works with what presents itself in the conversation.

Coaching is about co-creating. As a coach you support and challenge a coachee to come to insights on how they need to change in order to be successful. Coaching stimulates awareness, reflection, self-discovery and self-reliance. The coachee comes up with his own solutions and creates his own opportunities.

The freedom of choice and full responsibility lies with the coachee. A professional coach knows how to recognize his own ego, assumptions and opinions, to keep them out of the conversation and to keep an eye on ethics. The focus is on being fully present with the coachee in order to support him in his progress.

If you are looking for a coach, ask about their methods. If you are going to coach someone, be clear at the front about what this form of coaching is. In our training we teach students how to do this in an introductory conversation. If this framework is not clear at the front, your coachee may have the presupposition that you are the expert, the one with the right answers or the savior who will solve the problem for him. And that, is different from coaching.

Mythbuster #5 Coaching is above all a good conversation

NOT TRUE

A good conversation – one in which the other person actively listens and asks questions – is still sometimes associated with coaching. Yet there is a difference.

As we wrote earlier, transformational coaching focuses on behavior change. A coachee wants something different in life; functioning more effectively at work, connecting in relationships, strengthening entrepreneurship, experiencing more peace … it can be anything. In other words, the coachee comes to you with a goal, a desired outcome.

To achieve that result, the coach supports the coachee in a number of ways:

• Together with the coachee, we sharpen the intended goal. This provides clarity and, during the process, a handle to test whether we are on the right track towards the desired result.
• With the coachee, we create an optimal learning environment. An environment in which both head (cognition) and heart (feeling) and hands (doing) are involved.
• During a coaching conversation, we as coaches ensure that the coachee’s goal remains in view. If the coachee strays, we signal this and provide choices in relation to the goal.
• Results in coaching go beyond “just” the end result. It is also about how a coachee views the result and how they experienced the process towards the result.

Intention + action = result.

We invite a coachee to reflect what the coaching conversation teaches them. From there, we support to attach a concrete action to it that contributes to the desired outcome. There is accountability.

Coaching, then, goes beyond good conversation. It is concrete, results-oriented and involves accountability.

Mythbuster #6 Coaching costs a lot of time and money

NOT TRUE

Of course, coaching requires an investment, but the Return on Investment (ROI) can be many times higher.

What can professional, transformational coaching accomplish like:

• Clarity about goals and priorities: A coach can support identifying personal and professional goals, prioritizing actions and developing an action plan to achieve goals.
• Improved performance: By working with a coach, you can improve your skills and performance, increasing your chances of success.
• Personal growth and development: By understanding the obstacles to your personal growth and development, you can work with a coach to develop strategies to overcome these obstacles.
• Better relationships: Coaching can help you improve your communication skills, develop more empathy and understanding for others. With coaching, you can experience your relationships with more connection and compassion.
• More satisfaction and balance: By working with a coach you get more clarity in your passions and interests. Together you explore how to make space for these in your life, allowing you to experience more fulfillment and balance.

The above comes in part from research conducted by the International Coach Federation (ICF). Among 210 respondents, it revealed:

62.4% clear, specific objective;
60.5% more balanced life;
57.1% lower stress levels;
52.4% increased self-confidence;
39.5% improved communication skills;
35.7% project completion;
43.3% improvement in quality of work.

In addition, coaching is not a long-term process, but a short intensive collaboration with the goal that the coachee can continue independently afterwards. There is no dependency with the coach. The independence of the coachee is even increased.

The happier and more connected with yourself and others – the higher the productivity and engagement at work and the lower the dropout rate in absenteeism or employee departures. Coaching therefore not only provides a benefit to the coachee, but also ROI for organizations.

Mythbuster #7 Coaching is forward-looking

WHERE

Unlike therapy, for example, coaching is about the present and the future and not, as you read earlier in this article, about the past. Does this mean that a coach can’t do anything with the past? Certainly not!

As previously as mentioned, coaching is about (further) developing your potential, improving performance, actions, responsibility and follow-up.

A transformational coach supports coachees to step out of their stories of “the past” and see and engage new possibilities. In this process, a coach works with tools such as discovering values, using imagination, offering different perspectives and choices, and working with metaphors.

Does that mean that as a coach you cannot work with the past at all? No, after all, the past is also a part of a coachee’s life. In coaching, however, we are not going to heal or solve anything in that past. However, it can be extremely useful to recall and even visualize successful moments. This can make the coachee aware of previously deployed qualities and behaviors in order to then make a translation to the future and how to deploy these behaviors and qualities there. With this we support a coachee to move into a growth mindset, in which new possibilities can arise.

In short: We cannot change the past with a coachee, but we can support them in influencing their future.

Mythbuster #8 Coaching requires ethics

WHERE

Coaching is a free profession, just like psychologist or management consultant – a free profession, in other words, anyone can call themselves one. Only “free” is a little different than non-committal. As a coach, you are given a position in someone’s life where you can make an impact. Impact in the coachee’s life and environment. And, although often not considered, being aware of (and where necessary acting from) ethical behavior and possible dilemmas is irrevocably linked to this.

If you are not sufficiently aware of this, the impact we are talking about above can have a negative effect on your coachee and, ultimately, on you as a coach.

A professional coach is a member of a professional association or professional organization and therefore automatically complies with the Code of Ethics of that association or professional organization. A Code of Ethics protects the clients and the coach in ethical or legal dilemmas.

One of the largest professional associations for coaches is the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Years ago, this professional association took the lead in developing a code of ethics in coaching. The result was the Code of Ethics and an Ethics Review Committee. Compliance with the standards of conduct in that Code of Ethics is the 1st of the 8 ICF core competencies to which ICF members, ICF holders and ICF accredited training programs – like ours – adhere.

Ethics is part of our coach training program Co-Creation. We also pay attention to it in supervision, intervision and in the mentor coaching of our students. “Free” does not mean non-committal; as a professional coach, immerse yourself in ethics, join a professional association and regularly engage in intervision with other professionals. If you work together with a coach, ask him or her about his or her approach to ethics.

Mythbuster #9 Coaches are not trained or not trained well

NOT TRUE/DEPENDS

Coach a “liberal” profession; does this mean that coaches are therefore automatically not well or not trained in their field? No, far from it. However, there are great differences between coaches (and coach training programs) and it certainly pays to investigate.

So what to look out for? If you are looking for a coach or want to take a coaching course, there are a number of things to look out for:

• The coach and/or coach training is recognized by and affiliated with the ICF, NOBCO, EMCC, NOLOC, LVSC or StiR, the main professional organizations for coaches.
• The coach has obtained individual certification from an aforementioned professional organization.
• The coach demonstrably invests in peer and continuing education.
• If you choose an ICF or NOBCO certified coach, it is certain that they have successfully completed a recognized training program, successfully passed their exams, have sufficient work experience, do peer review and follow recognized continuing education.

Whether you want to receive coaching from a coach or become a coach, find a coach or program with solid accreditation, engage with several coaches/trainers to see if it clicks and the coach/coach’s approach is concrete, results-oriented and there is accountability.

What is coaching? Our definition

In the above article, you learned more about the “truths” and “falsehoods” regarding coaching as well as where the nuances are. To finish with how we started this article, we would like to conclude by giving our definition of coaching:

Coaching is about creating a relationship between coach and coachee, based on safety and trust, in which extraordinary results are achieved.

Coaching is about guiding people without you providing a solution. Sounds simple and it is complex at the same time. Being a coach means that you are given an important position in someone else’s life. Quality and knowledge about coaching is therefore necessary for both the profession, the coach and the coachee to flourish.

Developing yourself as a transformational leadership coach?

Request a free orientation call now! Or take a look at the 3-day Coaching Essentials or year-long Co-Creation course. Intention is ICF Level 2 accredited, affiliated with NOBCO, NRTO and ACTO and has nearly 20 years of experience in training people in transformational coaching and leadership. With an Intention education or training, you contribute to change, connection and greater authenticity in your immediate environment, within organizations and in the world.