12 frequently asked questions about transformational coaching
In this series of 12 short videos, we dive deeper into 12 frequently asked questions about transformational coaching. Whether you’re a novice coach, an experienced professional, or simply curious about how this form of coaching can change your life, these videos offer valuable insights and answers. From the basics and techniques to the impact and benefits, each video gives you a clear picture of what transformational coaching has to offer. Get inspired and discover how you can foster personal and professional growth through transformational coaching.
1. ๐๐ผ๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฒ๐น๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ถ๐ท๐ป ๐ถ๐ป ๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ธ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ท๐ฒ ๐๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐?
2. ๐๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ผ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐ผ๐บ ๐ฒ๐บ๐ผ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐ผ๐ฒ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฎ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต?
Coaching on emotions is not what we do. However, emotions do correlate with behavior change. Among other things, it is the behavior of the coachee (the person) we are coaching.
Exploring emotions in coaching plays a big role, says coach and trainer at Intention, Vera Gulickx in this short video.
Your coachee’s emotions are important. In most coaching conversations, the goal is to see a change in the coachee’s behavior. Being more effective at work, for example, or being able to delegate better. This change in behavior and the (new) insight and perspective that comes with it is driven by an emotion (fear, confusion, lack of clarity, anger, doubt, happiness, joy, etc.). Although we cannot coach on the emotion itself, it is related to the change. In addition to words, body language and thoughts, as coaches we also explore the emotion evoked by a particular insight or perspective.
TIP๐ก At the beginning of a coach conversation, it is helpful to explore together how a coachee is feeling; is they frustrated, confused, upset, angry, happy? Toward the end of the coach conversation, you can further explore what emotion is occurring now using a new insight or perspective.
3. ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐๐ฎ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ถ๐ป transformational coaching ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ ๐ถ๐ธ ๐๐๐ด๐ด๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ด ๐ด๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ป?
How about next week… Perhaps from a good intention, suggestions, or advice and tips, are not part of a professional coaching conversation. What working together does look like in transformational coaching and why, explains coach and trainer at Intention, Maaike Rijk in this short video.
Transformational coaching is about “partnering.” This refers to a coaching relationship in which the coach and coachee work together as partners to achieve the coachee’s desired outcome. In this partnership, you as coach act as a thinking partner, while your coachee has an active role in his or her personal or professional development and finding his or her own solutions. As a coach, you do not give suggestions or tell the coachee what to do. This, in fact, keeps the coachee from coming up with ideas and solutions that are best for them. Finding their own solutions makes them sustainable and does not create dependence on the coach. In fact, the coachee has become aware, learns, takes action and grows! As a transformational coach, our focus is on the development of the person, not on the content and not on providing solutions.
4. ๐๐ข๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐๐ง ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ง๐๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ฏ๐๐ง ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ฅ๐๐ง ๐ฏ๐๐ง ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ญ๐๐ญ๐๐ง?
The immediate answer: YES, however, with an important nuance. What focus on taking action and achieving results looks like in transformational coaching and what makes this important, Johan explains in this short video.
Part of being a coach is having a focus on actions and desired outcomes to promote a coachee’s learning and growth. And by that, we especially mean that the coaching should ยดlead to something. A good conversation can be had anywhere. The “coaching agreement” plays an important role in this. For example, a question we ask at the start of a coaching conversation is “what may this conversation bring you?” During the conversation, it may be a celebration of awareness and recognition.
TIP๐กIn addition, it demands attention from the coach that solving or achieving results as a coach does not become the goal of the conversation. Chances are you then miss the opportunity to use the exploration process to create deeper awareness and discover what really needs attention.
๐ง People’s brains sometimes have complex thoughts. As human beings, we have feelings and experiences. That should be at the forefront of our coaching. With the focus on the relationship AND letting go of a strong need for results, you create deeper trust, more is revealed and therefore more conscious. And with this new awareness begins the further view of possibilities, actions, results, learning and growth!
5. ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฒ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ต ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ด๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ด?
Fine, of course, to have a satisfied coachee and yet the answer is: No… ๐ฝ What else is important in good, professional coaching? Vera answers in this short video.
While it is nice and important when your coachee ends a coaching conversation satisfied, it is not really a fair measure. Coachees, for example, have no idea what makes a question powerful, whether it is closed, cumbersome or irrelevant. They only know that they want to answer it and perhaps feel differently. Coachees also may not know if the coaching could have been much more effective and far-reaching with a different approach or different questions. ๐ก As a coach, it is important to continue to pay attention to your professional awareness by reflecting regularly, asking for supervision or peer review, and investing in training and education. Accredited training offers outcomes!
6. ๐ช๐ฎ๐ ๐บ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฏ๐ฒ๐น๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฟ๐ถ๐ท๐ธ ๐ผ๐บ ๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ท๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐ท๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ป?
Although in professional coaching we do not coach on ยดpainยด or try to solve pain, acknowledging it does have a function. What makes acknowledging ยดpainยด important and how to then deal with it in professional coaching, Maaike explains in this short video.
๐๐ฟ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ป Studies show that about 90 percent of people move away from pain (“I hate my job,” “I need to get out of this relationship,” “I’m sick of it”). In professional coaching, we support our coachees by acknowledging and normalizing their emotional pain and then exploring what else is possible.
๐๐ฎ๐ป๐บ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฒ๐ ๐ฝ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐๐๐ถ๐ฒ We encourage the coachee’s expression and show genuine care and empathy for their feelings of loss, frustration, disappointment, irritation, vulnerability, or whatever they are experiencing.
๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ ๐ณ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ธ Perhaps we offer observational feedback when we notice minimizing language, generalizations or limiting beliefs that coachees use to avoid acknowledging their own pain for what it is.
๐ฉ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป๐ป๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ธ๐ฒ๐๐๐ฒ๐ Next, we acknowledge the coachee for their insights and awareness about this situation and the work they are doing around this challenging topic. We can ask if the coachee would prefer different thoughts and feelings about the situation. If so, what would they be? What would be the response they would like to have to this situation that would be more helpful to them?
TIP๐กAsa coach, we support the coachee to press the pause button, so to speak, and think, feel, reflect, consider and ultimately choose the response they would like to have in a safe, supportive and respectful environment.
7. ๐๐๐ป ๐ท๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐ด๐ด๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ฎ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ต๐ ๐ถ๐ป ๐ท๐ฒ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต๐๐ฒ๐ป ๐ผ๐บ๐ด๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต?
Certainly! But it is important to know how to do it and what to look out for. In this short video Johan tells us more about it.
In addition; What you do with your thoughts as a coach can make all the difference in effective coaching. “Telling it how it is” is a wonderful concept, but in reality – unless you say what you mean in a way that can be heard by the coachee – you can do damage in the relationship.
There are three basic parameters that allow you to say exactly what needs to be said – and the coachee can hear it:
1. Omit the word “you,” stick to your observation
2. Be responsible in your own observation. Be aware that your own observation is also your perception and it is not about being or not being “right.
3. Check your observation with a short question.
Example: DO NOT SEE: You sound angry.
IN PLACE THEREFORE: I feel like there is some anger. What do you think?
8. ๐๐ผ๐ฒ ๐ธ๐๐ป ๐ท๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ต ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ป ๐บ๐ฒ๐ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐น๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป?
As a professional coach, the focus in coaching is on the “now” and future developments. Among other things, this is one of the aspects that distinguishes transformational coaching from therapy, for example. So does this mean that as a coach we ignore the past? Certainly not. In this short video, Vera explains more about how a coachee’s past can be present in a coaching conversation.
Taking an occasional foray into past events can be particularly valuable in coaching – especially the emotions that were involved. This provides insights. With this presence of the past, an excellent link can be made to the now and from there again toward the new desired goal and personal growth. For example, “I hear your father had extraordinarily high expectations of you as a child, but now, as an adult, what could be different?”
TIP๐กAgreat coaching tool that works with the past is “The lifeline.” From that lifeline, as a professional coach you can then support your coachee in what they want to discover, develop, show and experience more today.
9. Is it important to keep a list of questions as a coach?
To give the short answer right away: NO ! The world of coaching often talks about the importance of asking powerful questions. These questions are considered THE key to unlocking insights, stimulating growth and promoting behavior change in coachees. However, behind this seemingly simple approach lies a paradox: powerful questions are not pre-programmed into a coach’s arsenal, but are dynamically created in interaction with the coachee’s unique needs, context and perceptions. While the concept seems simple – asking a question – it requires something different than a list of the 15 best coach questions ๐
๐ช๐ฎ๐ ๐ธ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ท๐ฒ ๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ป ๐ช๐๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฒ๐ป ๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ด๐ฒ๐ฏ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ด๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐๐ฒ๐น๐น๐ฒ๐ป? Maaike talks more about it in this video.
Preferably use “open” questions. A closed question might produce a simple “yes or no” and then the coach has to think about the next question. Open-ended questions support the coachee to think.
Notice the difference in the questions: Question: Did you think it was important? Question: What was important to you? Notice how the open-ended question is likely to provide new data. The closed question rarely brings the coachee to a moment of reflection, emotion or insight, requiring YOU to reflect instead of your coachee. As coachees become more aware of the variables in a given situation and their feelings, thoughts and behaviors about it, they begin to understand things better and move more naturally toward change.
TIP๐กWhatis useful to keep in mind; When you question the situation, your coachee will go deeper into the story. When you question the person, you invite reflection on self, feeling and behavior.
10. Should you take everything your coachee says as the truth?
And well … what then is the truth? In this short video Johan tells more about it.
The premise is, YES! Coachees do not lie. Everything they tell us as coaches is to their perception “the truth.”
As coaches, we are curious about what is behind a coachee’s truth. That may be something unsaid, something unsaid. And with which you can discover that your coachee’s initial story is just the tip of the iceberg. When you stop to consider where conversations begin and what they ultimately turn out to be really about, you realize that perception about what then is truth plays an important role.
As a coach, it is important to be aware of this.
11. Is the coachee always in the lead?
On the one hand they do and on the other they don’t. The coachee determines what is brought in and what they share. Therefore, the agenda, the topic that is being coached on, is determined by the coachee.
But where do we lead or – rather – guide as a coach in a conversation? Trainer Vera Gulickx already shares one aspect in this short video ๐ฝ
Coaching is above all also partnering. Doing exactly what the coachee wants can be a missed opportunity. Coachees think they know what they want, but often so much more is possible. And if coachees stray, it is important to note and keep in mind that it can be a distraction to explore something different and/or broader and come to greater awareness.
The term we often use is “leading by following.” That is, you do not set an agenda, however, you use what they have shared as the basis for your request to support your coachee.
๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ก: For example, ask questions about their e.g. current way of thinking, needs, values, feelings and behavior and support them to look at these in other ways.
12. What do you do with emotions in coaching?
In a coaching conversation, all sorts of emotions can come along from tears to exuberant laughter and everything in between. How do you deal with that as a coach?
In this short video, Maaike talks more about it.
A coachee who cries is in an emotional state, perhaps of sadness, disappointment, pain … or perhaps even tears of happiness. Showing these emotions in the form of tears may indicate that the client is comfortable with you in the conversation. Other times, they may feel the need to apologize for crying.
Our job is to remain quiet until they are ready to further explore the emotion that then arises. And then a helpful question might be: “What just happened?” or “What was going on in your mind?” Usually the answer yields illuminating information.
In this example, we are talking about tears. However, numerous other emotions can occur. This can also do something to us as coaches. As a coach it is essential that you are able to recognize, acknowledge and be comfortable with your own emotions and especially those of your coachee. That you know yourself and are comfortable with the uncomfortable.
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